Image via WikipediaIf your marriage is in trouble, you might want to consider counseling to help save your marriage. What people fail to realize is that there is no wizardly magic in counseling. It's an opportunity for a couple to explore their issues and the sources of their problems through guided discussions. Counselors only provide the tools. It's the duty of a couple to do the work.A good rule of thumb?
Nip it in the bud. Learn to be mindful of when you need to deal with an issue, as soon as possible.
Your marriage is the central hub in your life. All of your other relationships... with children, family, and friends revolve around the marriage axis. Therefore, there is a need to get help to save your marriage.
Marriage is considered a sacred institution by most of the world’s religions. It is the foundation of the family, which in turn is the foundation for society. So, there is a lot of emphasis on saving a marriage.
What's more, marriage always has and will continue to have it's problems. When you spend your life with someone, somewhere along the road a problem will develop. The question is, how are you going to deal with these problems?
The changing roles of men and women, financial pressures, communication and difficulties with children. Any one of these situations can make it hard on a marriage.
The most highly regarded relationship that we as humans have is the relationship between a man and his wife. Not father - son, father - daughter, mother - son, mother -daughter or brother- sister. No other relationship makes the vow..."Till death do us part".
So who do you turn to?
Perhaps the best place to look is the institution that values marriage more than any other – the church.
While a clinical psychologist or licensed family therapist will take an individualistic approach to marriage counseling, a pastor will focus on making the marriage work in a holistic sense. Over all, this has a better chance of actually saving the marriage.
Why is a pastoral counselor better than a secular therapist?
A secular therapist’s education focuses almost entirely on treating individual psychopathologies. Even “Marriage and Family” designated counselors may have only one class or elective dealing specifically with couple’s therapy. Do you think this approach can save marriage?
A pastoral counselor, on the other hand, will be educated in how to bring couples closer together. With the exception of abuse in the relationship they have the fundamental belief that once the vows are taken, the marriage is until death.
Some pastoral counselors have formal education in counseling. More and more seminaries are offering pastoral counseling degrees. Even ministers without a formal degree take classes and seminars in the subject.
Become a Participating Member of the Church
If you are not a member of a Christian Church it may be difficult to find a pastor to help you iron out the problems in your marriage. Find a good bible teaching church. Become a participating member, you'll be amazed at the positive changes that will take place in your life.
If the church you look into doesn’t offer bible study classes (King James version) then stay clear. The only reason I mention this is because there are many cults that pass themselves off as churches. Don’t be deceived!
Couples Retreats
In this case, you can call various churches and ask them if they have any upcoming couples retreats where you can save marriage through these weekend seminars. Once you have established a relationship with a skilled pastor in these settings, you may be able to do a follow up counsel with the same person.
A good couple’s retreat will help you deal with many different types of issues. There will be group sessions and couple’s sessions. You will also have time to work on questions individually.
Communication is Key
Communication is a big issue at these conferences. If you can work on your communications issues, you will find that the other pieces of the relationship fall into place.
Sex, finances, and raising children are also addressed. The goal is to get you back on track in every aspect of your relationship. You don’t have to be on the same page going in, but the hope is that you will be when you leave.
Marriage is tough. Sometimes it seems like the relationship cannot endure. But, there are so many reasons to give your best effort in making it work. You should consider seeking a pastor, through the word of God you will save your marriage.
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