It's not too late to save your marriage. It's essential to have a practical method. Are you serious about saving your marriage? Now is the time to take action!
There are several reasons why a once committed relationship will degrade to a married person asking for a divorce from the spouse. This cause and effect can stem from:
- An affair
- Separated by a long distance for lengths of time
- Lack of communication
- Behavioral issues or psychological problems of one spouse
- Undelt with addictions
Friction between the two of you in itself does not have to cause an unrepairable falling out between spouses. With some communication skills and a shared commitment to the marriage these issues can be overcome.
However, when you're to the point where a spouse is at the brink of abandoning the relationship, how can the remaining partner save the marriage?
What to do when your spouse has asked for a divorce?
First, you must realize that your choices are not limited in this matter. Often, when confronted by a situation such as divorce, we find ourselves backed into a corner and thinking we have no choice in the matter.
While we cannot, must not and in no way manipulate, blackmail or threaten our partner into changing their mind, we can actually control how we react to the situation. If anything, you must realize that you still have control over yourself.
Listen, you may feel your partners actions are the issue here but your reactions to those actions are really more important. Let me explain.
Here is an opportunity for you to look inward and focus on an obligation towards your own feelings and actions. You could even take personal inventory of what your partner is trying to tell you.
There's a serious indication that your marriage needs some changes. If so, respond in an appropriate manner by asking your spouse, "What can I do to bring back the love we had for each other?"
Choices to make when saving your marriage
There are choices that need to be made. You can choose to wallow in spite and wrath or you can choose to become more positive and pleasurable towards your spouse. You can choose to blame and shame your partner for this turn of events or you can choose to take stock, be accountable for where your marriage is and move on towards a more fulfilling relationship.
Perhaps a time of seperation is required to sort out the emotions and look at this crisis from your parter's perspective.
So what if your spouse is stubborn and unresponsive, you can still change yourself and become as engaging, positive and proactive as you were when you first fell for each other.
Haven't you and your spouse made an immense investment into this partnership? Remember your vow to stay in the marriage through sickness and health, richer or poorer, honor and cherrish each other and until death do you part? Help your spouse refocus their view on what both of you once committed to.
Become a delightful person again by caring for your spouse in the small everyday things. Be there for him or her when before you may have focused on your own wants and needs.
Let go of the negative. Let go of the fighting. Once you are able to do that, you are ready to start loving.
Set aside intimate time for your partner alone. Whereas previously, you may have let the kids take up too much of your time.
Finally, you have the option to call for a third party or go-between to help you and your spouse reconcile your relationship. If the situation is sincerely serious then by all means, get help through relationship counseling.
